Just a series of musings on the topic, as yet unsubstantiated, let’s see where it goes.

My current hypothesis – that when talking to an anti-vaxer, or anyone else of conspiratorial persuasion for that matter, you are engaging with someone who is experiencing a different realty to you, or at least, perceiving one. This can be jarring and overwhelming, as you seem to share so many commonalities – interests, taste, personality type, perhaps even friendship. But their fundamental experience of the world is different to yours (as it is, of course, for all of us in some way). So the important starting point here is not to suggest that their reality is wrong (a bogus position to take), but rather, it is different, and that difference needs to be appreciated, and dare I say it, respected.

This is a fairly simple ask on matters that can be reconciled in the acceptance that such a person is ‘entitled to their opinion’. This tired rhetoric is so often clumsily wheeled when coming to terms with some disagreement or dispute, and is helpful to allow us to move on from what might otherwise be a social wedge requiring ongoing attention. However, when the stakes are as high as they are with, say, vaccine take-up, this tenuous camaraderie will not withstand the forces it meets. For someone who is unwilling to get vaccinated against a highly infectious and devastating disease – that left unmitigated, could destroy countless lives – it is insufficient to say they are ‘entitled to their opinion’; not when that opinion informs behaviour that jeopardises the wellbeing of others.

So instead, we can approach this other reality with caution and inquiry, rather than inherent scepticism and demonisation. After all, isn’t it fascinating that a fellow earthling can relay such a contradictory experience of the home planet? Yes, perhaps, if it weren’t so confounding and the implications so terrifying. Nonetheless, we can’t purport to move forward as a society unless we find some way to do it together. The anti-vax sentiment is after all a highly individualistic one – my body, my choice – and we are trying to overcome what with the essence of collectivism – we are all in it together. So any suggestion of segregating the unvaccinated, whilst compelling on a number of fronts, is only playing into that same individualistic rationale – that we can control our bodies, who we see, what we are exposed to, who lives and who dies. Of course we can’t, not without significant impact on the way we live our lives, and in time, the reality that we experience for ourselves.

The wicked problem here is that we need to work as a collective, but at the same time we need to keep physical distance from one another, and be discerning about the interactions we do participate in. This presents an overwhelming challenge for all of us, in some form or another, no matter what your values, beliefs or motivations. How do we retrain our humanness with such speed and absence of guidance? The issue of leadership is continuously called into question, and rightly so – a unifying voice that gives us all some assurance that no matter who we are, or what we think, we’ll be ok. The lack of this unity is something that we can all attest to right now – uncertainty and anxiety about the future is common in all corners of our society for the great many (as has been the case for a great many others for a long time, sadly), so to this end we all can offer each other empathy, understanding, and compassion. The shared fear can be what brings us together, and overcoming it can be what takes us forward.

So with all of that, what have I learned about talking to anti-vaxers? Well for a start, perhaps not to refer to them as an anti-vaxer, at least not to them directly. Simply calling out this position is not going to benefit anyone at this point, and we are all too aware of the negative implications of labelling in a variety of contexts. So, engage with the person, not the position. Next, avoid a debate about the virtues of vaccination at all costs. Again, you’re speaking to someone experiencing a different reality, not a wrong one, and you can be sure that you won’t be able to change their mind within the space of a conversation. It’s fine to have your position, but so too you must let them have theirs. Similarly though, while you don’t want to suggest that their reality is wrong, nor do you need to accept that it is right. Rather, it just is. So then, from a position of genuine interest and intrigue, try to determine what it is, and why it is. You might be surprised to discover just how intricate, coherent and detailed this position is. Again, that doesn’t mean it’s right, but if it is as flawed as you might imagine, then some gentle inquiry should highlight this. That’s an interesting idea, can I ask where you found that? I’d like to take a look for myself. Or, that’s not my understanding of this situation, how did you come to see it this way? Allow space for this person do reflect on the validity of this position themselves; if they can be swayed, they will be more likely to do so if they arrive there themselves, and if they can’t, well, you’re not going to have much chance then, are you? Also, be mindful of finding agreement where possible, as there will be some genuine ‘truths’ in there. Acknowledge accurate information when you are presented with it, and show appreciation for the effort to explain the position – there is a lot of vulnerability that comes with this sort of opening up, so it’s no wonder that emotions can quickly become enflamed.

So there, a little summary of my current perspective and some little rules to go by. The big challenge with this is of course is the time and energy required to engage in this way, for a person that we might have previously just shut off from because we didn’t see the value in trying. It is now incumbent on all of us to participate in this conversation and find ways to unite, rather than divide. Just as #metoo was met with #notallmen, we said yes, all men. Now as the urgency of COVID-19 vaccination is met with my body, my choice, perhaps we can say our society, our future. Because for those of us who are lucky enough, that is the reality that we will all be in together.